used.

So, next week I'm hosting an event judged by Leila Steinberg (Tupac Shakur's Former Manager). The event will pick one winner out of spoken word artists, rappers and r&b singers to go to Hollywood to perform at the legendary "Mic Sessions" that Mrs. Steinberg runs in California. The event's theme is promoting non-violence & the essence of destiny. So when i was asked to write two poems incorporating the themes of destiny, i started to think of the events of this year and how they might have affected my "destiny". I don't regret any of the decisions of 09', they've made me a better person. However, the most prevalent theme in my mind when i think of this word is LOVE. This year has been nothing but trials and tribulations when it comes to the testament of that forbidden "L" word. If Love's a roller coaster, 09' has left me under the tracks watching everyone else enjoy the ride.

Of course this notion...brought on a poem:

Destiny (n., pl. ): The inevitable or necessary fate to which a particular person or thing is destined; one's lot.
(courtesy of answers.com)

The Trey Songz Lyrics that sparked it, From "Infidelity":

"You kept me on this pedestal//
No matter how much I let you down ( down, I let you down, down, down )//
With all my infidelities//
You loved me so incredibly//
Inside I'll fall apart//
If you ever love someone instead of me ( instead of me )//
[ So you deserve a better man ( instead of me, instead of me ) ]"

Here's the piece:

Used

My lips held close to microphones
On the night your lips were wrapped around hers
I spit you love poems
In front of the world
Whilst you made her yours

The trips on I-95
Between your place and mine
Our fingers intertwined
Did that ever cross your mind?
While you were between
Our love and her lust
Somewhere along the line
Did the image of me
Gripping a stage for dear life
In her eyes, shine
Did the ghost of my fingertips
Travel up your spine?

Did she ask why you shivered?
Closed the window because she thought it was cold
Was that the point where you told her, NO?

I don’t think so…
I never thought you’d ever become one of these poems
Where regrets fist my lines
And blood becomes ink
The let go poem
The never again poem
The goodbye, amen poem
Here’s the part where I go the hell in, poem

I am convinced there will be mercy for your soul
I lied when I said you made me whole
The synonym for the space in my heart
You filled with your lies and false assurances

Keep your syllables
I’ll keep my metaphors and similes
And avoid the mass of love poetry
That has disintegrated into ashes since you set me free

This is my decree
For all the women who have been misled
When you’ve only loved wholeheartedly
When your joints become sore
From bending your back for the undeserving
When the wings from under your eyes
Start to fly around the memories
Of the wasted late nights
When your palms start to itch at
The thought of spending money that was tight
When your knight in shining armor
Is not as “heavy” as you imagined and takes flight

I loved you, and I say that loosely
USUALLY,
I don’t waste the pages of my journal
On heartbreak and those who have tired of me
But I’ve written this in a word document
So when I’m done, I can delete
I don’t know what you’ve been told
But only I’m in control of my destiny.

-riv-

As for the event I'm hosting, it's this upcoming Wednesday, September 16th, 2009 from 8:30pm to 10:30 in Norfolk, VA. If you need more info or would like to compete, contact me @: RivaRhymez@aol.com